ADDRESSING PEOPLE OF TITLE.
His Most Gracious Majesty King George V. Commence: Sire, or May it please your Majesty. Conclude: I have the honour to remain, your Majesty’s most faithful subject.
Her Majesty Queen Mary. Continence: Madam, or May it please your Majesty. Conclude: I have the honour to remain, your Majesty’s most faithful subject.
His Royal Highness (then give title). Commence: Sir, Conclude: Your Royal Highness’a most dutiful subject.
Her Royal Highness (then give title). Commence: Madam. Conclude: Your Royal Highness’s most dutiful subject.
Other Princes and Princesses. —
As above, but omit ‘Royal’ and ‘most.’
His Grace the Duke of . Commence: My Lord Duke.
Conclude: Your Grace’s obedient servant.
Her Grace the’
Duchess of . Commence:
Madam. Conclude: Your Grace’s obedient servant.
The Most Honour able, the Marquess of . Com mence: My Lord Marquess. Con clude: Your Lordship’s obedient servant.
The Right Honourable the Earl of . Commence: My
Lord. Conclude: Your Lordship’s Obedient servant.
The Right Honour able the Countess of . Com mence: Madam. Conclude: Your
Ladyship’s obedient servant.
The Right Honour able Viscount . Commence and Conclude as for an Earl.
The Right Honourable the Baron . Commence and
Conclude as for an Earl.
Sir (Christian and Surname), Bt. (not Bart.). Commence: Sir.
Lady (Surname only, unless born with a title). Commence: Madam.
His Grace the
Lord Archbishop of . Com mence: My Lord Archbishop. Con clude: Your Grace’s most obedient servant.
The Right Rev. the
Lord Bishop of . Commence:
My Lord. Conclude: Your Lordship’s obedient servant.
The Very Rev. the Dean of . Commence: Mr. Dean.
To the Right
Honourable the Lord Mayor of . Commence: My Lord. Con clude: Your Lbrdship’s most obedi ent and humble servant.
To His Excellency Sir (Christian and
Surname), the Governor of .
Commence: Your Excellency.
Give title in full, and commence: My Lord.
Members of Parliament.
As in private life, but add the letters ‘M.P.’ after ‘Esq.’ N.B.
Though, on a strict point of law, the title ‘Esquire’ should only be given to sons of knights, to landowners, &c, it is nowadays considered more complimentary to address men in private life as ‘Esquire’ than ‘Mr.’ Always begin the ‘Esq.’ with a capital letter, and never give both titles. ,
It is becoming increasingly common for principals of businesses to adopt the American shield of inaccessibility. This is a mistake, as it loses many excellent orders to the firm. It should be remembered that customers do not like stating their business to subordinates. On the other hand, visitors should never trouble a principal if the business can be clone by a subordinate.
Dress soberly; this applies to both ladies and gentlemen. Do not think that because Saturday is a ‘short day’ this entitles you to come to the office in holiday attire. Such an obvious indication of anxiety to get away early is not encouraging to customers.
Never smoke in any other man’s place of business, unless invited; many businesses are still old fashioned enough to object to this practice during business hours. Do not paper your office with slogans; this is exceedingly bad form, and no great compliment to the intelligence of visitors. Do not bully the telephone operator; she is frequently irritating, but she is, at all events, a woman. Do not make use of your position as a principal to do things which you would never tolerate in your staff; be punctual, polite to your staff, and consistent in your behaviour. If you are a subordinate, do not do things when the ‘boss’ is away that you would not do if he were present: this is the act of a cad. Do not flirt with stenographers: the office is the place for work.
Always reply to letters speedily. Do not send a post card except in cases of extreme urgency. Do not call at the bank just before closing time; always remember that the bank clerks have much to do after the doors are closed. Do not send post-dated cheques— they create a very bad impression. Do not leave the dictation of letters till the last thing at night. When dictating, do not hesitate or correct yourself perpetually— decide what you intend to say before starting to dictate a letter.
Women have now come into the labour market, competing with men on equal terms, and there is a tendency to be lax in the matter of chivalry. If women compete with men on equal terms, they must not expect preferential treatment, but & gentleman will always show* deference for a lady wherever possible. It is not necessary for a man to give up his scat in a bus or train to a healthy young female as strong as himself—this is false chivalry; the truly chivalrous man will keep the seat for a cripple, or an elderly man or woman, or for a woman carrying a young child. The chivalrous man or woman (chivalry is not exclusively a male virtue to-day) will be invariably courteous to children, and thoughtful (not only kind) to dumb animals. Always treat an inferior with the same courtesy that you would an equal or a superior: above all, be courteous to waitresses. These hard-working women need all the kindness you can give them. Do not treat domestic servants as if they belonged to a different order of the anthropoid species: the true aristocrat will be found to treat his domestic staff rather as friends than employees. Do not snub the bus conductor or newsboy who wishes you ‘good morning.’ These are the little acts of chivalry which bespeak the gentleman far more than do those of the ubiquitous ‘ladies’ man.’
It is necessary to arrange with the clergyman prior to the christening, but there are no restrictions of time or place of dwelling as with marriages. Prior to the ceremony, godparents are chosen; a boy is given one godmother and two godfathers, while a girl has two godmothers and one godfather. No fee can be claimed by law, but, unless the parents are poor, the clergy rightly expect some donation towards one or more of the church funds. The amount depends entirely on the means of the parents. At the christening the nurse takes charge of the child until the godmother
C is ready to give it to the clergyman. She places the child on the clergyman’s left arm and stands on his left, the nurse on his right. When the clergyman says, ‘Name this child,’ the father should utter his reply in a clear tone. When the main portion of the ceremony is completed, the father is invited into the vestry to give particulars for the register.
Some people are brilliant conversationalists; others, equally intelligent, make a poor show. If you are one of the latter, try to learn from the former. Fluent talking is an art which can be acquired. But though the so-called ‘tongue-tied’ folk are the first to realise their short-comings, it never seems to occur to those who chatter incessantly that they are unduly tiresome. There is a wide gulf between the brilliant conversationalist and an everlasting talker.
Conversation should spring naturally out of matters which arise at the moment; but if the company is so constituted that conversation has to be made, then there are plenty of topics in the newspapers which will be of common interest. Anyone who starts a conversation which is not of general interest is lacking in proper tact. Amongst a group of bankers the subject of bimetallism may be a suitable topic; but if an individual banker finds himself in the company of local dignitaries and their wives, then to argue about bimetallism would be decidedly bad taste.
In making conversation, do not emphasize your own special abilities. If it is left to you to sing your own praises then it were better they were unsung.
The weather is a topic upon which we all rely at times. Always hit upon something else if possible. But never discuss your ailments. Most people are not as interested in your children as you are. Therefore, detailed recitals of their cleverness or childish ailments may not be appreciated.
Religion and Politics.
Religion and politics should be avoided, not because they do not supply interesting points for debate, but because it is so easy to hurt other people’s feelings when voicing your own opinions. Never contradict anybody. Usually it is permissible for you to speak your own mind, but it is wrong to give your views as though they were final. Personal criticism is seldom in good taste, although it supplies one of the easiest subjects for conversation.
There is nothing in boasting that you are one of those people who speak their mind. As a rule, people who parade the fact that they speak their mind, are merely rude. Sarcasm is a cheap form of wit which is usually out of place. Its use at times, however, is valuable in lashing someone whom one imagines needs correction. Do your share of listening as well as talking. DEPORTMENT.
An erect carriage should be aimed at by all, not only on the grounds of appearance, but health.
Men should not have their hands everlastingly stuffed in their pockets. It is bad form to stand talking to a lady with them so stowed.
On entering a room full of friends, walk in as though you had a right to enter. Do not adopt an obviously bold carriage, nor an expression suggesting that you wish the ground would open and engulf you. On sitting down, do not cross your legs. It is wonderfully comforting to do so, but save that until you retire to the smoking room.
Sit on a chair squarely. Shy children just sit on the extreme edge; do not imitate them, or people will know you are nervous.
If you are bored, do not show it. Try hard to appear interested. Do not stare. Do not always appear in breathless haste. DRESS.
In a great measure, people are judged by their clothes. A man or woman invariably dressing neatly is one of orderly and methodical mind and habits. Extremes in dressing, however, should be avoided. Too much attention to dress is a sign of temperamental weakness.
Do not be the first to try new fashions or the last to discard the old. Never be conspicuous, and dress suitably and appropriately.
Do not mix outfits; a tail-coat and a cap, or a flimsy blouse and brogues reveal a disregard for details. This does not mean that an extensive or extravagant wardrobe is necessary, but a little scheming can overcome glaring combinations.
Correct dress and personal cleanliness go hand in hand. Dirty finger nails are unpardonable; but do not clean them with your railway ticket whilst sitting in the Tube. A clean collar and a dainty blouse will not make up for a dirty neck.
According to law, the local registrar must be advised within five days of a death, by some responsible person. When notifying him, a doctor’s or coroner’s certificate must be furnished, and in return he will supply a certificate of registry, which must be given to the clergyman or cemetery authorities at the time of the funeral. In the case of cremation, two medical officers must furnish certificates.
At funerals ladies wear black dresses, whilst men have black suits—a tail-coat is usual—black ties, black gloves, and silk hats with bands about three inches wide. Black bordered handkerchiefs are not necessary.
The carriages are filled by the relatives in order of relationship, and then the friends. Sympathizers who cannot attend often send their carriages, empty.
The will is read on the evening of the day of the funeral.
Friends, unless very intimate, should not call on the bereaved for at least a week, or until a mourning card is received acknowledging the notes of condolence. LANGUAGE.
Language must be suited to the company—that which will pass muster in the smoke-room may offend in the drawing-room. It is wiser to cultivate drawing- room language always; the use of unpleasant expressions, once contracted, is hard to avoid. Do not use slang: it is neither necessary nor attractive, and is too suggestive of the tinsel ‘smartness’ of the Bright Young People to persons of breeding. The language of the Great War is enshrined in our memories—but let it remain there I Euphemisms and high-sounding words are never smart: never use a three-syllable word when one will do—Saxon, the language of our ancestors, is composed mostly of one and two syllable words. To call a ‘spade’ a horticultural implement is merely stupid.
Swearing is seldom smart: it is often offensive. It is certainly never necessary.
Use the first person as little as possible: it is better to earn a reputation for ultra-modesty than for egoism. Speak to subordinates as you would to equals. Excessive familiarity is often irritating. How we loathe the man who speaks of everyone by their Christian names—even though barely acquainted. A gentleman will give the title ‘Mr.’ to all but his his most intimate acquaintances. Avoid such familiarities as ‘Old Fellow,’ ‘Old Chap,’ ‘My Good Man,’ ‘Mate,’ ‘Chummy’: they are both irritating and insulting, but are increasingly common.
Avoid current ‘clicheV: remember that your friends hear them all too often. ‘Such is life,’ ‘Worse things happen at sea,’ and other cliches of this genus, are not original, and very tiresome.
Foreign expressions are useful: they sometimes convey a shade of thought which cannot be conveyed in English; but don’t use them too often or they become tiresome. LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION.
If a letter of introduction is required for a friend, let him peruse it first, and then hand it to him unsealed. This conveys a subtle note of confidence. The person for whom the introduction is sought should deliver the lettei immediately. If the introduction is purely a social one, it is usual not to attempt to see the prospective friend, but to wait until he (or she) makes it convenient to call. If the introduction is a business one, formalities are dispensed with, and there is no objection to delivering the letter personally to the person to whom it is addressed. The recipient of a letter of introduction should acknowledge it as soon as he has had an opportunity of seeing the person to whom it refers, which should be as soon after receipt as possible.
Note-paper and envelope should always match, except when an envelope with an embossed stamp is used.
Commence the letter with the address in full and then give the date.
Unless the communication is a formal invitation, do not write in the third person. The first person is used whenever possible.
Avoid gushing in letters, and think twice before you put into black and white things which may lead to trouble.
Do not type your letters to friends Never write in pencil unless it is a very hurried note to an extremely intimate acquaintance.
If you have cause to write a letter of complaint, write the letter, but do not post it until the next day. Probably by then you will have decided that the wiser course is to ignore the whole matter.
Begin a letter with ‘Dear Sir’ or ‘Dear Madam’ or (better still), ‘Madam,’ but never with ‘Dear Miss.’ In writing to a married lady, address her as ‘Mrs. Jones’ or ‘Mrs. Stanley Jones’ (her husband’s Christian name being Stanley), but never as ‘Mrs. Jane Jones.’ Do not underline words you wish to emphasize.
Terminate a letter with the phrase ‘Yours faithfully’ when writing on business, ‘Yours truly’ when writing on business of a more than usually formal nature, or to a stranger; ‘Yours sincerely’ when writing to friends. Add the name of the person receiving your letter, if on business, either at the beginning or the end. Both are equally correct.
Do not use sealing-wax on the flap unless the letter is to be registered. Enclose a stamp if your letter calls for a reply and deals with business. If you feel that the reply postage should fall on you, and you are afraid of offending the recipient, send a stamped and addressed envelope, not a loose stamp. PRONUNCIATION of PROPER NOUNS and SURNAMES.
Bagshot is pronounced Baggot; Beauchamp, Beecham; Beau lieu, Bewley; Belvoir, Beaver; Berkeley, Barkley; Bourchier, Boucher; Brougham, Broom; Cholmondely, Chtunley; Cirencester, Sissister; Claverhouse, Clovers; Cockburn, Cobum; Cowper, Cooper; Dalziel, Dale; Drogheda, Droida; Feather-stonehaugh, Fanshaw; Fiennes, Fyncs; Greenwich, Grinnidge; Grosvenor, Grovenor; Hawarden, Harden; Holborn, Hoburn; Knol-lys, Knowles; Macleod, Macloud; Marjoribanks, Marshbanks; Meux, Mews; Norwich, Norridge; Plais-tow, Plaastow; Ruthven, Riven; Salisbury, Saulsbry; Scrimgeour, Scrimger; St. Clair, Sincler; St. John, Sinjon; Strachan, Slrawn; Talbot, Tolbol; Wauchope, Wan-hup; Wemyss, Weems; Wroithes-ley, Roxlcy; Youghal, Yawl.
Some surnames are pronounced differently by various branches of a family. The Earl of Cottington, whose name is Pepys, pronounces his name Peppis; the great Diarist, and the descendants of his sister, pronounce the name Peeps, whilst another branch of the family call themselves Pips. The Sandys family call themselves Sands, but a branch pronounce the name Sandiss.
PUBLIC ETIQUETTE—WHEN ABROAD—When visitingaforeign country make some effort to study the customs of the country and to fall in with them so far as possible. Most European countries afe more courteous than we in allowing for natural characteristics, but you owe it to your hosts to assume his customs superficially.
Do not perpetually draw comparisons between England and the country visited, and do not assume an air of hauteur, superiority or patronage: remember, for the time being, you are the ‘foreigner.’ If you can speak the language, so much the better: but if you know but a smattering, use English wherever possible. There are few places on the Continent where no-English is understood. Do not think, because you are away from home, you can ‘let yourself go’; remember that you have the honour and dignity of your own country to uphold. When visiting small Continental towns, do not make a point of ordering English dishes which you know they are unlikely to have; endeavour to fall in with local tastes. Above all, when visiting Catholic countries, pay the reverence to the national religion that you would to your own. Remember that a church is not a museum; do not wander about when Mass is in progress.
When travelling in England, rememberthatthereareothers beside you; do not push when entering a public vehicle, wait your turn. It must be confessed that women’ are the greater offenders in this respect. Do not put luggage on a seat if a train or ‘bus is full; you pay for your own seat, not for two. Do not stand talking to a friend on the pavement while an uncomplaining conductor is waiting to start the ‘bus. Do not talk loudly in a public vehicle.
The raising or lowering of a window should be at the discretion of the passenger sitting next to it, but the convenience of the other passengers should be considered.
If a male friend pays a lady’s fare in a vehicle, she should not argue the matter, but just thank him. Gentlemen should show some discretion in undertaking such a liberty nowadays: some independent ladies strongly resent it.
Men do not raise their hats in a public vehicle. A slight smile or a respectful nod is sufficient.
Most people are considerate enough to avoid compartments in which a young couple are seated. Do not be one of those who spoil sport. PUBLIC ETIQUETTE—WHEN AT HOME.
Where the home is concerned, do not let ‘familiarity breed contempt.’ Whilst ‘company manners’ are not required in the family circle, the same courtesy should be shown to relations as to strangers. Do not forget the morning greeting to members of the family, and to the servants. Do not let the haste necessary at the breakfast table betray you into table manners unworthy of a ‘coffee-shop.’ Do not bury your nose in the newspaper; no news is sufficiently important to warrant discourtesy. If you must read your letters at table, ask to be excused first. Do not forget the morning ‘goodbye’ when rushing away.
A wife has a dull time about the house all day; if the house be small, and no assistance kept, give her a hand when you return at night. Such courtesies as lifting weights, placing chairs for wife, sister or daughter at meal times, anticipating the desires of others at table, mean a great deal to one’s women-folk.
Show the Oriental spirit of hospitality to visitors, no matter how unwelcome, but remember that because you are entertaining friends, there is no necessity to snub your own family. Never snub a child; treat it with the same courtesy you would give to a grown-up.
You may be dog-tired when you return home, but so is your wife. Do not forget this in sorrow for yourself. Offer to take her out occasionally in the evening, no matter at what sacrifice to yourself—it will repay you in the long run. Do not forget the family birthdays, and the anniversary of your wedding.
A kindly (but not impudent) enquiry into your maid’s family affairs from time to time will be appreciated; and do not forget to enquire about your charwoman’s sickly child. Do not quarrel with your wife within the hearing of the children or servants.
RULES OF THE ROAD.
Traffic and highway regulations have been propounded for the mutual convenience of the users, and to enable them to be carried out satisfactorily it behoves every user of highways—either terrestrial or maritime—cheerfully and conscientiously to regard them.
For Motorists.— (I) On meeting a vehicle approaching from the opposite direction, keep to the left. (ii) Overtake a vehicle proceeding in the same direction on the right, or off side. (iii) Tramcars may be met or overtaken on the side of the road which is safer. (iv) Pass a led horse on the side on which it is led. (v) Warning of approach must be given, where necessary, by horn, bell or other instrument. (vi) A motorist must stop and remain stationary so long as may be reasonably necessary on the request, either by word or sign, of a uniformed constable, or of a person in charge of a horse. (vii) Motorists should exercise care in entering a main road, and not endeavour to do so until it is safe to proceed. (viii) When the motor car is stationary, otherwise than through necessities of traffic, stop the engine. When stopping at a house on the offside, keep to the near side, passing the house, then turn round when opportunity occurs and approach, so that the left side of the car is nearest the pavement. (ix) Use the right hand for signals. Hold out the right hand when turning a corner on the right. When turning left, wave the right hand in a forward direction, to signify that those behind may pass on the right. When stopping, hold up the right hand perpendicularly.
No specific rules are laid down for pedestrians, but they are expected to exercise every care in the avoidance of traffic. Pedestrians keep to the left. Always give a lady the wall. Always look both ways before crossing the road, unless the local traffic regulations make it necessary only to watch one way. Never lose your head; if you find yourself in a dangerous position, determine on a definite course, and let oncoming traffic know what your determination is; nothing is more disconcerting to the driver of a vehicle than to meet pedestrians uncertain in their course. Never stop in the middle of a highroad, or a crowded pavement. When crossing a crowded thoroughfare, watch for the policeman’s signal in stopping the traffic, and then unhesitatingly make a bee-line for your destination. Never alight from a moving vehicle: you may be nimble enough, but the road may be slippery. Do not bolt hurriedly round corners: no time is saved if you collide with someone. Do not swing your stick or umbrella. Accord the same courtesy to vehicular traffic as you expect from tli em.
When a polite motorist pulls up for you, remember a gracious nod of thanks.
The sea possesses an intricate code of etiquette, which is international, and is rigidly observed. The authority of a nation extends for three miles out to sea. The authority of the captain is unchallenged on his own ship. Vessels when passing one another run up a flag, both as a salutation and as an indication of the nation of origin. When the pilot takes charge of a ship, his authority supersedes that of the captain. Before an out-going vessel can leave a port it must run up the ‘Blue Peter’ as a sign that it has obtained a clean bill of health from the port authorities. The Customs Officers have the power to arrest all contraband, and all persons attempting to import contraband without having paid the Customs Duties. No unauthorised person may go upon the ‘bridge’ of a vessel. The captain may solemnize marriage, read the burial service, and may order the arrest and confinement or pla: I:ig in irons of anj’one who defies his authority. SALUTATIONS.— Endeavour to be sincere in your salutations; this is not entirely possible, as politeness dictates many stereotyped formula; which cannot possibly be sincere. It is possible, however, to convey the impression that you mean what you say when enquiring, for instance, after a person’s health. How very common is the perfunctory query ‘How are you ?’’ which expects no reply. If you enquire after a person’s health, give him the opportunity to reply, and endeavour to appear concerned with his little ailments. Do not be over-effusive, however; this is revolting.
When writing a letter, never begin ‘Dear Smith,’ unless you are extremely intimate with Smith, and the occasion does not demand great formality. When writing a business letter, even to an intimate friend, commence with ‘Dear
Mr. ‘; the letter may be dealt with by a subordinate with whom you are not intimate. Similarly, do not conclude a business letter with ‘Cheerio,’ or ‘Thine,’ or with any other of the familiarities which intimacy allows. The more dignified and old-fashioned houses consider it more polite to address a lady as ‘Madam,’ in preference to ‘Dear Madam.’ Similarly, it is a shade more complimentary to begin a letter to a firm with ‘Gentlemen,’ in preference to ‘Dear Sirs.’’ TABLE MANNERS.
At dinnerparties, when the hostess announces that all is ready, the gentleman goes into the dining-room with the lady on his right. This position is only reversed if a staircase must be descended, when the lady takes the wall side, whether she is then on the man’s right or left. All the ladies should be seated before any of the gentlemen.
In arranging your seat, see that it is a reasonable distance from the table. Nervousness may lead you to squeeze yourself up, or it may cause you to leave the chair an inordinate distance from the table. Both positions are wrong.
Manners count more at table than anywhere else; therefore be careful to do yourself justice. See to it that you do not break any of the accepted rules of eating, but do not let people know that you are trying hard to be correct in your behaviour.
Hold the knife and fork lightly, and do not put the index fingers forward to gain additional pressure. When lifting food to the mouth, there is no harm in bending slightly to it, but the person who rises and falls, like a ship on the ocean, as the fork goes up and down, is an object of ridicule. If a particular course suggests a fork and knife, do not make the knife do all its work and then dispense with it, depending only on the fork.
Try to keep pace with the other diners; do not dawdle or hurry over the food. Either plan will lead to awkwardness.
Never accept a second helping of anything if, by so doing, you retard the progress of the party. Soup and fish are never taken in duplicate. On rising from the table, do not fold the napkin if servants are present.
If certain foods do not suit you, reject them without commenting on the sufferings which they inflict on your digestion.
If, for any reason, you have to pass your plate during the progress of a course, pass it with the knife and fork or spoon. Do not keep them back.
Bread should be broken and not cut. It is not given you to play with, a habit often indulged in by those who are not at their ease.
The idea still lingers that it is proper to eat cheese with the knife. The idea is wrong. Cheese is eaten by balancing small fragments on bread or biscuit, and held there by the aid of butter.
A gentleman sitting next to a lady at a dinnerparty, even though he has not been introduced, should converse with her. To be silent throughout is to appear neglectful.
With such things as stewed fruit, remove the stones from the edible matter before putting into the mouth. The same applies to fish-bones. But if by accident a stone or bone finds its way into your mouth, remove it with the assistance of the spoon or fork, not with the fingers.
Remember that this accessory is not now called a serviette. Keep your napkin on your knees, and do not tuck a corner down your neck.
Take up soup by pushing the spoon horizontally away from you. The side, and not the tip of the spoon is put to the mouth. This avoids the need of bringing your elbow across the table. Do not tilt the plate, but if you insist on lifting it, raise the part nearest you.
When to leave.
Do not rush off home immediately after the repast. You should stay at least an hour, unless you know the hostess very intimately, and can offer her some good reason for your hasty departure. VISITING.
The rules laid down with regard to calls are founded on common sense, and should be observed whether the occasion be a formal or ‘friendly’ meeting. In winter-time men do not enter drawing-rooms wearing overcoats, and should leave such things as sticks, &c, in the hall. In summer, a stick and hat, but not an umbrella, may be taken in if the visit is of short duration.
Keep the conversation going. Everybody can find something to talk about, but do not examine the pictures and ornaments as if you were in a museum.
Etiquette of Gloves.
Ladies should not remove their gloves when making afternoon calls; this would suggest a long stay.
On entering the room, go straight to your hostess, who will offer you her hand, and so will the host, if present. A bow is sufficient for the other visitors. It is for ladies to bow, or offer their hands to gentlemen as they please.
The hostess, in offering to take the caller’s hat and stick, indicates that she wishes him to stay, thus taking the risk of him outstaying his welcome. When introducing people, remember that you bring those of lesser rank to those of higher. At formal calls it is desirable to ask a lady if you may introduce So-and-So to her. If she acquiesces, the person must be found and taken to her.
When it is time to go, go. The visitor who leaves too soon or who will not t^ke his departure is a nuisance.
Wait until a chair is offered to you before sitting down, and if a man, rise each time a lady enters or leaves. When you sit down, do so comfortably, and do not appear ill at ease. Do not tilt the chair or sprawl your arms across a settee; men should not fidget with their hats.
Do not cross your feet so that they get into the wav of others. WEDDING ETIQUETTE.— Full particulars relating to marriage can be found in ‘Wedding Etiquette,’ which is published at 2/- net by Messrs. W. Foulsham & Co., Ltd., but, briefly, a marriage can be arranged on one of four ways: By Special Licence, issued by the Archbishop of Canterbury, which permits the ceremony to take place anywhere, with or without previous residence in the district, at any time. Fee, approximately £30.
By Ordinary Licence, issued by Doctors’ Commons, London, or at the ‘Bishop’s Registrars in the country. One of the two people to be married must declare on oath that there is no legal impediment to the marriage, and that one of the contracting parties has lived for the fifteen days preceding the declaration in the parish of the church chosen for the ceremony. Fees from 30/- to 2 J guineas.
These are read for three consecutive Sundays in the parish church of the area where both the man and woman reside. One or other of the contracting parties must live for fifteen days in the parish in which the marriage is to be solemnized. The validity of the banns lapses if the ceremony is not performed within three months.
By Registrar or in a Nonconformist Building.
This can be undertaken by ‘certificate’ or ‘certificate and licence.’ Residence qualifications are required, and when the certificate is issued, the marriage can take place after a lapse of twenty-one clear days if by ‘certificate ‘ alone, or after one clear day if by ‘certificate and licence.’ All marriages (except Jewish) must take place between 8 a.m. and 3 p.m.
The bride, with her father, are the last to arrive at the church. Taking his right arm, she walks up the aisle, followed by the bridesmaids. Here she meets the bridegroom and takes up her position on his left, her father being on her left.
Before the all-important moment arrives, the bride removes her glove from the left hand, and, at the proper time, the clergyman gives the ring to the bridegroom— he has received it from the bridegroom previously—and the latter slips it on to the third finger of his bride’s left hand.
Widows and those who are divorced, on remarrying, never wear white, nor a bridal veil. Most Anglican clergymen will refuse to marry people who have been divorced, and even those who will agree to solemnize the ceremony, generally leave out some part of the service. The Roman Catholic Church refuses to recognize divorce at all.